Happy Birthday to me. Well, belated birthday. Monday was a
day of action figures and LEGO sets and many games and drinks with my fully
vaxxed friends. It was a wonderful way to turn <<--DC REBOOT-->>
years old.
Anyway... now that I am somewhat old and wise, I wanted to take a moment to
blather on about something that’s been itching at my brain for a while. And I know it's going to be a touchy subject for some people, so I'll try to tread lightly.
MFA
programs. Why do these things even exist?
See! I told you it'd be touchy! Just to be clear right up front, this is absolutely not a swing at
anyone who made it through an MFA program and got a degree. I know MFA writers are popular punching bags for some people, and this is not one of
those posts. I’m a huge believer that pretty much all education ends up being
useful (even if not always in the way it was intended) and I’ve got massive
respect for anyone who actually did it. I enjoyed my four years at UMass, but I
also know I wouldn’t’ve had the stamina (or the resources) to make a graduate
degree happen. So this is, again, not coming down on anyone who scraped and
clawed their way up through a higher level of higher education and came out on
top.
You absolutely rock. Seriously. Never doubt it.
The people who gave you that MFA though...
Probably a good point to mention before I get going is none
of this has been triple-checked or peer reviewed or anything like that. But
within my own experience--including a degree of research specifically about
this--I haven't found anything to contradict any of it. Like, a disturbing
number of things line up with this half-assed theory I’m about to present to
you.
So... one of the main reasons writers and other artists tend to get the
liberal/ fruity/ beatnik type labels is because, traditionally, if I wanted to
learn one of these fields I just did it. People didn’t go to school to learn
how to write, they just wrote. They dropped out of “productive society” and
wrote
a lot. For the vast majority of folks this meant finding a
dirt-cheap apartment in a city close to publishers (to save postage costs),
drinking cheap booze, having cheap affairs, and skipping two meals a day
to pay for supplies. Eventually (hopefully) I learned from experience, got better,
and then people started to pay me. That’s where the stereotype of the starving
artist comes from—most of these folks went hungry while they learned their art.
I talked about this at length a few birthdays back...
Yeah, if I was really lucky I might find some kind of mentor
to show me how to hold a brush, where to hit the marble with the chisel, or to
read the first half page of my story and offer a dozen notes right there. But
these were kinda few and far-between. I mean, think about it. In terms of any
general population (pick your favorite city or state or country) there are only
going to be so many successful artists. So out of that limited number, I need to
actually find one of them, and it needs to be someone in the field I want to
study, and they need to be willing to offer some sort of mentorship, AND
they need to have space/ time for me, personally. I mean, there’s probably
hundreds of other people looking for mentors too, right? It absolutely
happened, no question... but it probably didn’t happen a lot, just applying a
little common sense.
Now the reason people had to learn this way is universities
and colleges didn’t teach the arts. No painting or dance or acting or writing. Really.
They were professional institutions. People went there to learn
engineering, medicine, chemistry, law. You know... real jobs.
Worth noting there were a very small number of these schools
with writing classes. But even in those cases this wasn't something you got a degree
in. It was just a side thing—some exercises to maybe help you write a better
closing speech for the jury.
And yes, I know—there were a few specialist art school out there. Very few,
comparatively speaking. The odd music academy or dance conservatory. But this
wasn’t considered higher education. It was—at best—more like we’d consider a
vocational school. And if you think about it, that kind of makes sense. Sure I
can teach you how to write notation for sheet music and how to blow on a flute.
But I can’t teach you how to compose the song in your head. And as we’ve talked about here
many, many times, somebody can’t teach you the “correct” way for
you to write. We all need to figure that out for ourselves.
So what changed? How did writing (and the other arts)
suddenly become a “teachable” thing? Well, two things happened. Actually, one
thing happened, but a second thing had a very powerful impact on that first
one.
In reverse order, the second one was Nazis. Hate those guys,
right? In case you missed that week of
grade school history, in the mid-late 1930s a right-wing fascist group
gained a ton of power in
Germany
and made life miserable for pretty much everyone in
Europe.
And a lot of people in
Africa. And
Asia.
Eventually
the US
joined in the fight (to quote Eddie Izzard, “after a couple of years, we won’t
stand for
that anymore!”) and sent sixteen million people off to fight.
After WWII, a lot of folks—like with WWI before it—were just
left wrecked by the scale of it all. The things they’d done. The things they’d seen.
I mean, by the numbers, the odds were you saw someone die every single day. For maybe four years. So when the war ended, most US
servicemen got a slow boat home. A deliberately slow boat. So these soldiers
had time to breathe, to look at the waves, and to talk. Most importantly, to do
it with a bunch of people who’d just gone through the same things they did.
And when they got home, that first thing I mentioned was
waiting for them.
Y’see, the US Government had come up with something called
the GI Bill. WWI (and its aftermath) was still fresh in a lot of folks’ minds
and everybody wanted to make sure this new wave of veterans were taken care of
when they came home. So the government said “When you finish your tour, go to
college on us! We'll cover it.” Because it was a win-win for the United
States. We’re taking care of veterans and
we’re making more doctors, engineers, and scientists. Wooo! Yay us! We rock!
So these guys got home, Big Government pulled out the big
checkbook and said “Congrats on surviving--what college do you want to go to?
What do you want to study? Law? Medicine? Rocket science? We’re going to need
some more rocket scientists pretty soon.”
But a bunch of these guys said “Y'know... I think I
might just take a year or three off and process all this some more. Work
through it. Maybe write a book or some poetry, put some of this stuff in my
head down on the page while I try to figure out what I'm doing next.”
Now this wasn’t the first time Uncle Sam had heard something
like this (again, WWI just thirty years earlier). So he shoved the checkbook
back in his pocket, put a firm hand on these guys’ collective shoulders and
said “Good on you, man. You go do what you need to do to get right.”
And that would’ve been it. Except... suddenly the collective
colleges and universities of America
said “Whoa, whoa, WHOA! You promised us all this GI Bill money!
You said hundreds of thousands of soldiers were going to be signing up for
college!”
”Yeah,” said Big Government, “but they don't want to be doctors or
lawyers now. They just want to write a book about their experiences.”
”Well, let's not be hasty,” said the CEO of All Colleges. “I mean we... we've
got writing... programs.”
"You do?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. A whole department. Several departments.
They could absolutely get a degree in... in the arts. In fine arts, even! You
just write those checks, Big Uncle Sammy, we'll have everything ready by
September.”
Worth noting my friend M.L. Brennan (college professor and
vampire author) heard this line of thought from me a while back and
pointed out all of this continued (arguably got a lot worse) in the ‘90s when college
loans became a serious for-profit business. Higher education became less about,
well, education and
more about making money. So it’s not
surprising MFA programs multiplied like bunnies shortly after that. You want to
go to college for what? Yeah, sure, we’ve got a program for that. Just sign
your loan papers...
And that’s how writing became something that's taught. Colleges and universities just wanted the money. Which
also meant now they needed to make up rules and guidelines and formulas to try to teach all these things. Because if there weren't any rules, they
wouldn’t be able to issue grades and some students couldn’t do better than others. Which would mean this “degree” I got is... well, kinda pointless. Maybe
even worthless.
Which brings us to the last thing I'm going to say about MFA programs—their
abysmal success rate. Seriously. For most college degrees (of any level), we
say “making a living at it” is more or less the end goal of getting the degree.
If I go to school to be, say, a high school teacher, and 83% of us in that
program become high school teachers, that’s a pretty successful program, right?
With that in mind, as another friend, Kristi Charish, has pointed out...
what would you think of a school where less than 5% of education graduates end up
making a living as teachers? What could we say about an engineering program
where only one or two students out of the entire graduating class
actually become engineers?
I mean... seriously, does that sound like a successful program? A terribly useful
degree? Especially if there are dozens of other people becoming successful
teachers or engineers without that degree? I mean, Kristi told me at her school the science department had produced more successful novelists than the MFA program.
And again, I want to stress, this isn’t about the people who
got those degrees. As I said at the start of this, I’m impressed by anyone who
makes it through a graduate program. And I absolutely think some useful
learning can come out of it.
But if someone’s about to make that choice, I’ve got to be honest... I’d tell
them it’s probably not worth it. They might get something out of
it, yeah, but odds are they could get that thing somewhere else. Probably a lot easier and definitely a lot cheaper.
Also again... none of this has been rigorously reviewed. There could very well be
a dozen facts I missed just sitting out there, ready to tear this whole chain of thought apart
brick by brick. And if so, please give me those facts. I’m always glad to know
more.
Next time... I want to talk about the story that happens five years later. Or
really, the opening that happened five years ago.
Until then, go write.