Sorry for
the delay. I was out of town all of
yesterday and a lot of today’s been spent playing catch up. Of course, if I’d been thinking ahead, that
wouldn’t’ve happened. And I’d have that post about thinking ahead done.
If I want
to do something different in your manuscript, format-wise, that’s fantastic. Hell, Cormac McCarthy has pretty much built a
career of it. But I need to be
consistent. I can’t say that all
dialogue will be in quotes and also have thoughts in quotes. I can’t tell you that writing in all caps
means text messages but also have it indicate telepathy two pages later.
Instead,
let me give you a quick tip. This one’s
inspired by a book I just finished reading.
It frustrated me on several levels...
One of the
joys of being an author is finding clever ways to influence the reader. When I know I’ve guided the reader down one
path of assumptions—or maybe away from the correct set—that’s a great
feeling. There’s a lot of ways we can do
this, but the most common one is formatting.
After all, the way the words sit on the page affects how the reader
takes them in, and if I’ve got a good grasp of how said reader will interpret that layout, it lets me manipulate them a little more.
The catch
here is that I can’t use the same formatting trick for multiple things. If we were watching a movie and I told you
all the people dressed in red were robots, and then the movie introduced a
dozen characters in red who were aliens, there’d be some serious problems with
my interpretation of the movie. If I
establish that every scene with blurry edges is a flashback, I can’t also use
blurry edges to mean a character is having a clairvoyant vision.
For
example...
In Ex-Heroes the character of Zzzap always speaks in italics without quotation
marks. Like I mentioned above, it’s a
visual trick to show that, in his energy form, he doesn’t sound or talk quite
like a normal person. His voice has a
buzz, an edge, that separates it from normal dialogue.
The catch
is that it means I have to be very, very careful about using italics anywhere
else. A lot of authors use them to
indicate a character’s thoughts, but that was right out for me. It’d get too confusing—especially in any
scenes Zzzap was in. And confusion is
one of those things that breaks the flow of a story.
The same
with emphasis. It’s common to use
italics when you really want to accent something. But I had to be careful using them in Ex-Heroes
because if I led off a sentence with italics it’d look like Zzzap was
speaking. And if that causes a moment
or two of confusion, well... there goes the flow again.
In the book
I just finished, the author used quotes for dialogue, but he also used them for
character’s thoughts. So more than once
there were paragraphs like this...
“Okay,
nobody move!” shouted Phoebe. “The shock
of me yelling should keep them off guard for a few moments,” she thought. “Put your hands behind your heads and get on
your knees,” she continued out loud.
See the
problem there? There were maybe a dozen
points in the book that shook me for a moment, and at least half a dozen where
it broke the narrative and I had to look back to figure out if that last bit
had been spoken or thought. That’s
almost twenty chances for me to put the book down in frustration.
Make sense?
“Make
sense?”
MAKE
SENSE!?!?
Thinking
ahead to next time, I’ll have that post about keeping ahead done by then.
Until then,
go write something.
And be
consistent about it.
Seriously, Mr Stranger. In a book, paragraphs like that? The dialogue side by side with the thought, all in quotes? And it got published?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm afraid so.
ReplyDeleteHonest truth be told, that wasn't even the worst of it. This was one of those authors who would put multiple speakers in the same paragraph, so you'd end up with things like this...
"Dialogue side by side with thoughts?" Beachcomber echoed. "This has to be one of those exaggerated examples Pete uses now and then," he thought, "not an actual quote." But then Pete shook his head. "No, I'm afraid it's much worse than that," he said.
...yeah, I don't know what the editor got paid for either.
Granted, it's not the book's only problem. I'm going to be using it as an example for a few weeks to come here.
Seriously? Wow. That's worse LOL. I'm really wondering what book is that and would I want to read it just to see it for myself.
ReplyDeleteBTW, Beachcomber is a "she". And the name's a nod to Ted Elliot/Terri Rossio Wordplay column #03 :=)
Whoops. My sincere apologies.
ReplyDeleteI was, errrr... of course referring to the fictional male character of Beachcomber... from... something else...
...sorry :)
Good to see another Wordplayer fan, though. Never caught the reference.